A Woman’s Independence!

I write this article out of great concern and compassion for relationships between men and women. I write this in hope of opening the minds that are closed tight and those who are stuck. Don’t fight, don’t fuss, let’s discuss this and do what needs to be done to start, “Enjoying A Better You” and better relationships with others. I hear a lot of women say, “I’m a strong independent woman and don’t need a man!” Before I say more I want you to please relax, and with an open mind read this article.

Ask yourself, are depending on others for a number of your needs, or are a number of others depending on you? Remember no one is watching and listening but you, so you can tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth to yourself. If you don’t tell yourself the truth, you’re only lying to yourself, making a fool of yourself and creating problems for yourself, within yourself and your future.

Make a list of what you depend on from others. Are you always calling someone to make repairs at your home? Do you rely upon others for help with your finances or lend you money when needed? Are you depending on someone to support your mental and emotional stability? You must be honest and detailed when making this list, the small things can make a huge difference and they add up.

Also, make a list of things for which others depend upon you. Be sure and include your kid’s needs on this list. I know this list will be long being women tend to take on more for others than they do for themselves.

Now compare the two lists and on the first list ask yourself. What things on this list can I actually do myself? What are the positives of me doing it myself? If there’s a negative point in me doing it myself, what would it be and what would be the negative outcome? Now take a look at the second list. What are you doing for others that they can do for themselves? If you have older children decide what you’re going to start having them take care of themselves. In many situations you can become an enabler for your child, which stunts their growth, clouds their ability to make proper decisions and makes them dependant upon you for things that are totally their responsibility. Just because you’re single, do your friends, family and co-workers expect you to have time to do more things for them? Remember your time is just as valuable as those with families.

Review your previous lists carefully and determine what new priorities you have created. You should have removed items from your first list and delegated items from your second list. If you have honestly looked at how your time is being spent, both lists should now be shorter. What you have actually done is lightened your responsibilities of others and made time to learn something new for yourself.

If you’ve been totally honest with yourself, you should be removing things from your first list and holding people responsible for their stuff on your second list. You will have taken more responsibility for what you can do and allowing others to take care of their responsibilities. Making everyone more INDEPENDENT!

Now those of you who are becoming more independent and those of you who already are, I applaud you and people will love, honor and respect you for it. I’d like to share something with you and stop the myth that’s been wide spread and repeated by women so much they’ve fooled themselves into believing it! “He Can’t Handle a Strong Successful Independent Woman” or “He’s Intimidated by a Woman Making More Money than Him!”

“Men Are Not Intimidated By Successful Independent Women!” Men love successful independent women and it’s one of the main ingredients that make him fall in love with you. So when you say, “He Can’t Handle a Strong Successful Independent Women” you’re lying to yourself and missing the big picture. Odds are your independence (in some cases delusional independence) has made you arrogant, ignorant to your behavior, feeling entitled to commit unflattering aggressive behavior, not becoming when wanting to have a nurturing loving relationship and that’s why you’re by yourself. Not your success or independence!

You will always need to have a life of your own! Don’t ever forfeit that for a man, no matter how much you care for him because you’ll doom yourself and possibly your relationship when you lose your independence. Did you know that men don’t like women that try too hard for them, because it becomes annoying? It’s a clear picture that you have no other interest of your own other than him and he doesn’t desire that kind of pressure to keep you happy. Having your own life is attractive to a man and “He Loves an Independent Successful Woman!” You show signs of independence and individuality; he’ll fall in love with you. It’s exciting to a man to have an “Independent Woman,” he knows she can create something new and exciting without his help, which makes her interesting in his eyes. It also takes pressure off the man having a woman that can make something happen without him.

Ladies, “Men Love Strong Independent Successful Women” and we’re not intimidated by them, we seek them, we love them and we marry them. So stop using that, “He’s Afraid of a Strong Successful Independent Woman Statement” as an excuse as to why you’re alone. You’re alone because of you and your behaviors. For the record, “There’s No Shortage of Good Men” either! I always say to men and women, if you don’t have a good person in your life, “Go Look Into The Mirror and You’ll Be Looking at the Problem!” There are 3.4 Billion men in the world and you can’t find 1. Does it make sense to think 3.4 Billion men have a problem or is the problem within you? When looking at yourself, tell yourself the truth, and make a behavioral change that’ll change your life and who enters.

Published in: on May 10, 2010 at 12:04 am  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Thanks Milo! This Part ,”Odds are your independence (in some cases delusional independence) has made you arrogant, ignorant to your behavior, feeling entitled to commit unflattering aggressive behavior, not becoming when wanting to have a nurturing loving relationship and that’s why you’re by yourself. Not your success or independence!”, is definitely me and unfortunately it has been hurting my relationship with a certain man for almost 10 years! I love reading your articles and hearing your videos! I need to heed your advice! Thanks!

  2. Milo,
    I love the art work…the colors are refreshing with the vibrance of being a woman.

    Thank you for your wisdom on the subject of independence. Yes, I agree that independence is good to a certain point. I believe like anything else in life, there should be a balance. The balance of your life, building a family, having great friends and bonding of groups and then your work.

    We need each other as people, to love, to work together. I agree with you Milo that sometimes being too independent can impede your life.

    I was listening about 3 months ago to a soulmate business partnership who teach about love and relationships. It blew my mind!

    Everything about too much indepedence can impede by the energy it puts out into the world. You are saying to the world…hello, I don’t need anyone and that is exactly what you will get…being alone. So, just a change in thinking and behavior can bring life back in balance and attraction follows. Who wants to be alone…not me.

    I love being a woman, somewhat independent, but definately accepting the man in my life…accepting that I need him because I do. I also accept that needing others, be it friends, family, co-workers, and fellow bonders (FB 😉 yes, we all need each other.

    Thank you Milo…I am really looking forward to your book.

    Love, Peace, Light
    Gina Marlena

  3. Hi Milo, thanks for the strong words. I am independent, but will never say I don’t need a man. I have a strong and loving man in my life now.

  4. Thank you Milo. I think you cleared a lot of things up that we hear much too often.

    I love strong independent women. Strength can be seen in so many ways.

    Some people confuse strength with being combative. These are two different things.

    Thank you for keeping it real and simple.

  5. Milo, This was right on point,Keep sending positive wisdom,much love

  6. This Art work is amazing, looks like she happy looking at the birds, Your writing is above all keep doing the amazing work, keep that smile on your face

  7. Thank you, Milo…

  8. The first individual expressed my immediate thought… my exact feelings, every word…hmmmm, I’ll work on this. Thank you so much

    • Make your list and get to work, enjoying and becoming a better you!

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