Did I Say That?

Did you ever… Wish you had thought before you spoke? Address a conflict you should have avoided? Allow your emotions, instead of your brain, to guide your communication? Find yourself manipulated by someone who lied, intimidated, or used other dirty tactics? Struggle with giving criticism? Lose your cool with a customer service provider because you didn’t get the result you deserved? Get frustrated by people who gave mixed, unclear, or stealthy messages? Be lead to believe one thing only to have the agenda or script flipped by someone for their benefit?

“Did I Say That!” We sometimes call it a faux pas, a blunder, or a goof—we’ve all had those cringe-worthy moments that make us wish we could hit rewind to erase what we’ve just said. You might be tempted to hightail it out of the room, but that will only aggravate the situation. So you stay with all the intentions of delivering your mea culpa—and make things right.

I recently had such a situation and couldn’t believe what flew out of my mouth. I immediately wanted to stuff those words back into my mouth like a handful of potato chips. But the cat was out the bag and running around the room on fire. I had fallen into a trap, gotten off track and drug into the shallow expressions of a few. I recognized it immediately after I spoke for about 5 seconds but it was too late. Some people can provoke us and we don’t always respond appropriately. “Remorse inevitably follows.”

“Did I Say That!” Here’s what you can do when things like that happens:

Sure you can play mum, rationalize it and pretend you never uttered the unattractive comment, but that won’t change the fact that you said it and people heard you loud and clear. A better idea would be to immediately get back on track and express the positive intentions you had in the first place. Get back on the high road and stay there, don’t try to blend in, “Live In The Truth!” Blending in is what got you in an uncomfortable spot in the first place. Bloopers are understood and happens all the time and you must face it when you do it.

Approach the person or persons, you offended and ask to speak with them one-on-one. It shows your sincere and humility is key, so finish with an apology and ask for forgiveness. Then forgive yourself and heighten your level of consciousness which will help you pay better attention to your choice of words. Don’t allow people to sucker you into damaging the image you’ve built, honestly and based on love, honor and respect. “Watch Your Mouth!” But if you err in word, apologize, forgive yourself and grow forward knowing better! Yes, you said it and they all heard you!

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Published in: on March 31, 2010 at 6:52 am  Comments (15)  

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15 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Milo…BULLS-EYE ADVICE!!! THANKS FOR PROVIDING WORDS OF WISDOM ON THE IMPORTANT TOPIC OF “THINKING BEFORE WE SPEAK.” Lots of “SISTAH POWER” Love, Deborah

  2. Yeah Milo, this has been happening of late after listening to Sarah Palin and those dang-gone Tea-Part people…Did I just say Dang-gone?..See,I’m working on it 🙂

  3. Good advice to follow. Although, I am sure I have made the mistake before; I just can’t seem to remember it at this time. Perhaps it was soooooooo bad I have conditioned myself to forget about it? 😛 I promise not to discount your words.The situation will come to me (sometime) and I will share it with you….Have a great day.

  4. Wonderful advice Milo. Being in mgt., I can see where this advise is ‘right on’. People need to realize that no one has been put in the position to judge and words can cut deeper than any knife. you are awesome Milo and I love you for your thoughts and your words. I respect the fact that you are trying to make a difference everyday. Isn’t that why we’re here? Peace and Love Babe.

  5. Milo…LOL

    Milo…Living in the Truth is a good place to be. It is ok as long as we love ourselves and others. If something offended another, giving a loving explanation or hug can heal the circumstances.

    It is ok to live in truth and live in the moment…it is how we get things done and points across…LOL…Love you Milo!

    Have a great weekend…

  6. thx, Milo great advice…Last week our Past just did a peice on “AM I MY BROTHER KEEPER” and this one of his main points, if you have disagreement or confictwith someone, that may cause u to not speak to each other or walk around up set for days over a misunderstanding or something that was said wrong and seem affencive, You should go and talk to the Person and resolve the issue one-on-one. Be postive with eachother and yourself. So your right on time with this one. thx again Milo.

  7. Hey Milo! This is exactly what happened to me about 3 posts ago. A new comer at the workplace was having an issue with some of the other workers not liking her. The two of us went to lunch and I simply told her not to let others predict her future. That they may not like her but the fact that she liked herself was all that counted. Well, that simple statment came back and bit me in the butt! She went to our boss and told her that non of the other employee’s liked her and that she felt uncomfortable. Then she followed up with “This all started with Nyoka telling me that why they didn’t like me”! What?????? My boss spoke with each team member one on one and asked why she they thought she was having such a hard time. Well, when she got to me she pretty much told me everything that had been said. It’s like working with a bunch of 5 year olds. When she told me what the young lady said, I really didn’t know what to say at that point. I had been thrown under the bus for no reason at all. We’re still dealing with this same mess at work now! My life is just filled with craziness these days and I don’t know why!

  8. Were you that fly on the wall Sunday. LOL You got me “DID I SAY THAT” opps I did. I did all you suggest, can’t take it back but it was all true and I’m sorry if the truth hurts.

  9. I agree with the fact we should be more mindful of what we say, and how we say it. However, what if the person saying the negative remarks ONLY remorse is that it was spoken out loud, instead of just in their head??? Negativity spoken out loud, or in silence is still negativity. It can be in your actual spoken words, your tone, and/or mannerism which is still just as bad. This also means the person and/or guilty parties still have some work to do on themselves. You can always try an apology if you have said harmful, hateful words, or something that has offended another. BUT if you are NOT truly sincere, and your only reason for apologizing is to “appear” to be a bigger person, your attempts will be met with distrust. The best advice sometimes is if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all…CYD

  10. You are AWESOME!

  11. Yes Milo I been there! I tried to ignore the fact that I say it out loud, but the Spirit would not let me get away with it. I apologize and forgave myself! Thanks for confirming that I was on the right course! xoxo

  12. I love all your post, it is really wonderful to see the positivty you put out in the planet, I see this is a true life calling of yours and thanks so much for the reminder to let our true light shine and when we dont, how easy it is to get back on track to start shinning like we know how!

  13. This is right on time, people need a way to recover. I heard a pastor say, words are like toothpaste, once it’s out of the tube, you can’t put it back in.

  14. I enjoy reading your blog!

    • Thanks Judith for the acknowledgment and your time.


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