Where Are All The Good Black Men!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Normally I don’t write about race, I just write about people growing forward because we all share the same types of emotions and desires for joy in our lives. There’s no separation due to race in my heart and being, separation based on race, color or creed are some of the reasons our world is in turmoil and causes great suffering to the masses, drowning in ignorance! But I’ve been asked about this subject often and I feel a need to respond.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the ratio of black women to men in the U.S. is approximately 150 million women to 144 million men. That breaks down to, for every 100 black females, there are about 88 black males.

Many black men don’t understand the reasoning behind the black female’s belief that there’s a shortage of good black men. To men, it appears that women have become so transfixed on there being a shortage, many don’t take the time to notice the “Good Black Men” who are available. This is true and makes it easy for black women to become dismissive of the black male when things don’t go their way, “Girl he was no good” is what they’ll say.  A number of black women never take responsibility for their own actions and run black men away. This is where the true exploration of the depths of the thought exist.

Women aren’t looking for just any guy. They want quality men, with good character, and are of substance. Men tend to be more logical in their thought process, we want tangible facts. We tend to take a more physical position by believing that if you can hear, see and touch us, how can we not exist and there not be enough of us for you?

But ask any woman and she’ll admit plenty of black men exist, but not many of whom she would want to give the time of day.

Also, there is a well known fact Black women believe there are specific reasons for the shortages. The number of Black men residing in prisons, black men who choose to date women outside of their race and black men who are homosexual, bisexual, or live in a manner society doesn’t consider to be, “heterosexual.” This makes up a good portion of men who don’t typically seek relationships with women. For these reasons subtract 20 from the 88, leaving 68 men for 100 women.

But then you have to ask, “What is woman’s definition of a good man?” If women desire men of integrity and great moral fiber, then you must subtract another 20 from the group of 68 left. This accounts for the black males who just aren’t living right. Who let the dogs out! But remember there are female dogs too!

Where does this leave us and what does it leave us with?

We’re left with 48 available Black men for every 100 Black women. This doesn’t include the good black men who’re already married and assuming there are 100 good Black women out there for the 48 black men to meet. How many of you ladies should be removed from that 100? Surely not all 100 women are good and a number of you don’t take responsibility and will blame men for everything! Though your numbers are higher, some men think you’re hard to find too. Are you ladies realistic in your assessment of yourself?

Everyone needs to take responsibility for their crap, heighten their awareness and become better more responsible people.

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Published in: on December 23, 2009 at 9:15 am  Comments (15)  

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  1. YES, There are GOOD BLACK MEN still out there. Some might consider them to be an ENDANGERED SPECIES, but they still exist. Sometimes it is just a matter of availability. And lets be HONEST — Just because a female may encounter one of these endangered species of GOOD BLACK MEN does not mean that female HAS to date that ONE. Everyone is not compatible. Good man/woman or not, there still needs to be a connection to that person that makes you want to pursue something more. Sometimes it comes down to NO sparks flying. Women desire GOOD MEN we can connect, and relate with, or can see a future with. For those who are single, a suitable partner can be very elusive at times, though NOT impossible. “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in GOD that a man should have to seek him first to find her.” If the man does this, not only is he a GOOD MAN, but the woman is a GOOD WOMAN also. Just my thoughts…CYD

  2. Thanks Milo, I loved this note, but it’s a little depressing. I love black men, but I recent encountered one who had me about to run to another race. I am still open to loving a good back man, but if there is such a shortage, it will be hard for good women, for which I am one. I am old fashion and still believe that he who finds a wife finds a good thing, but lately no good men were finding me. I don’t know what I am putting in the atmosphere to draw these kind of men, but I’m in the mist of changing that so it can stop. I am trying to be patience and wait on my Boaz; that kind, compassionate, giving, patient and financial independent man. I know he is out there and if he is black that’s wonderful, but if he is of another race, I am open! xoxo

  3. I know there are good men out there, but most of them are married or gay or afriad to open up and let a good woman get to know them!!! A lot of men are also very defensive or just want to play games or just be players!!! I’m just Saying!!!

  4. We wish that we could clone you Milo!!!

  5. A good partner is hard to find my man. No doubt, people should take stock in their own characteristics and what qualities (or deficiencies) they’re bringing to the table. Now is the time for accountability for all parties and thanks for opening the discussion Big Guy! As always, I appreciate what you do and continued success…VA

  6. True!

  7. Hear,hear..Very well put.!!!

  8. You must also consider in todays times our roles have changed,society has stripped our black men and black women dont get this,the burden of leadership falls on all men, to add black to that is a double whammy,women say they wanna be equal but this is untrue,and black women curse black men worst than society,it saddens me because to be pounded based on a worldly expectation is unjust.Ive never went seeking “a good black man” as I view all as good till proven otherwise,and Im not bitter when I am, nor stereo type…now whats compatable is a different note & personal,but good guys are there,Id always reverse the finger to myself,ask yourself if “your truly the catch you seek.And if you are complete in yourself you wouldnt be looking’ or worrying about it…Be the cake let all others be the icing…*

  9. Love the pic! I am looking at you. Most are married.
    You are a good Black man, so the lady that has u better do good by you. You feel me. Much lox stay bless. Your words were awsome as always.

  10. Myself and my sons father are raising 2 Elite young teenage black men. I would love to take all the credit, as their father and myself are not together after a 10 year relationship, but he has played a major part in them becoming successful black men, not only in the Education world, but helping them to become self aware, and identifying who they are, and what they are about, and getting past the stage that women are pleasure toys. This i believe will help them make a healthy choice of partner. I also believe that this was only possible because of both of us having our own businesses and even though we parted the friendship and understanding is there, and we have given our sons nothing to turn to us and say “well you did this or that” and if they did find something then we would be very truthful with them, and help them learn from our mistakes.
    As for me now that im a single Black women, ive already taken the time to unpack the bags, being a self employed person gave me all the traveling, clothes and material things i wanted, so finding someone is just about for them being proud of who they are, and what they are doing with their life. At the age of 40, i would image that a man would have a path of things that they are aiming for achieved, so forth. I would just love to find someone with passion for something. As Luther say ” Love will be better second time around”. The book “The Secret” says “ask and the universe will give it to you”

  11. Milo,

    Thanks for writting this piece. I was having this convo yesterday with someone who wanted to know why I was still single.

  12. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate your honesty, & knowledge of wisdom. I’m taking all of this in. So that, I can take better responsibility as a young lady. Takecare. God Bless You!

  13. I believe that thoughts produce things (law of attraction) so if black women and men for that matter begin to think intentionally about what they want it will show up. In addition, people have to be willing to do the work necessary to become whole, perfect and complete. That requires way more than just reading blogs and quotes (no pun intended). I do not buy into to the conversation called “scarcity” I live in an abundant conversation and suggest that black women begin to look at how we are thinking and then our realities may be different.

  14. I think the problem starts from home with the single parents who are raising these kids.Why do so many black women have kids irresponsibly.There are so many women who have kids with a man who already have kids that he is not taking care of.There is a high percentage of single black mothers who raised no good black men.(im referring to relationships only).

    Most good black men are not looking for already made families from other men.

    The quality of the product is only as good as the manufacturer.Since the majority are women who raising our black men these days,maybe we should start there.

  15. This is very true and the reason why i started to work on myself. My motto is; i want to give the same quality that i’m looking for.


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