Why Don’t You Talk To Me Anymore!

IMG_9635What would you do if someone you cared about (friend, lover, family member, co-worker) all of a sudden stopped talking to you? Just out of the blue with no explanation, note, nothing, just cut you off. How would that make you feel and what would you do? A large number of us would immediately reflect upon our last conversation with that person and wonder what we said wrong. Yes, you’d look to see where you made an error and possibly offended this person. “What did I do?” That question you ask yourself starts a downward spiral and brings to the surface crap that you’ve stored about you or never existed.

Odds are you didn’t do anything, it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you! People can do what they want to do and not consult you when they do it. People see the same things but in different ways. My opinion and yours though on the same subject matter may be as different as night and day!

Whenever you make yourself wrong because of the way someone else treats you or reacts to you, you reduce your sense of self. You also decrease your sense of self-worth and give energy to your doubt and insecurities. You can become willing to make yourself wrong, simply for being you; and to satisfy someone else. Don’t do that to yourself, let them go in peace!

There will be times people in your life will decide they don’t want you as part of their lives anymore. For whatever reason they deem acceptable, at that point you must honor and respect it and move on. It may be painful and confusing but it’ll be a reality and you must let them go. Don’t beat yourself up wondering why, what did I do? Accept their choice, honor it and respect their wishes! I had a friend that stopped talking to me a few years ago and this weekend e-mailed me out of the blue asking for help. My initial reaction was, “you speaking to me now?” and want some help! No way! Then I immediately opened up to the servant I’m meant to be and I should be welcoming, grateful I can help someone. I extended myself and sent an e-mail back with my phone number and said, “tell me what you need, I’ll help you!”. There leaving didn’t lower anything about me!

People will stop talking to you and  remove you from their life for whatever reason. Don’t point a finger at yourself feeling you did something wrong. Odds are it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Move yourself out of the position of being wrong because of the way others choose to act or react towards you. Treat yourself with a high sense of self-worth, sense of being and  heighten your self-awareness!

Always be welcoming and seek love and peace!

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Published in: on November 16, 2009 at 8:00 am  Comments (18)  
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  1. That was beautiful and I needed to read that. I am consistently me and sometimes people walk out of my life but reading this reassures me I am not wrong, it is not me and I should keep my head high and not beat myself up. PEACE is the ultimate goal…PEACE!!!
    Thank you!!! I am at PEACE because my heart, words and actions are always genuine.

  2. Well said my brotha….and appreciated!

  3. This was great Milo. All too often we try to figure out what WE did wrong. When (8 times out of 10) the situation is out of our hands and there was nothing we could have done differently. Good reminder! Thanks!

  4. Good Morning Milo, Wise words of wisdom. Most people
    will come in and out of your life for what ever reason. Like you said you must keep the peace, and move on or forward. Like I always said they don’t have to love me, or even like me…..But!!!! you will respect me. You feel me. Yes this is one of your best
    right on point. Everyone must tell there’s yourself, when these situation you can not dodge, just sit down, chill, calm myself Relax……………..and say look my God is in charge. Much lox Brother….keep it coming

  5. “It’s not you, it’s me” – Most never want to believe this statement but it is usually the case.

  6. Wonderful Milo. Thanks for this, so timely! Hope all is well with the encourager! Be blessed.

  7. Thank you. Blessings.

  8. Milo- We sometimes outgrow people that aren’t growing with us or going in our direction in life too. So let Go and Let God, I always say! Make new friends and keep the old ones, for one is silver the other Gold.

  9. Hmmm, something to ponder on, people don’t always allow you not to communicate with them. It’s my way of cleansing people out of my life, when they don’t hear you when you’re trying to communicate with them. Silence sometimes delivers the best message.

  10. This is such a breath of fresh air, and a “reminder of freedom”. I recently have been “removed from someone’s life” – and although I did know the reason why, what I did was necessary and consistent with my character and integrity. I still felt bad about my actions, and even apologized although I was the person who should have gotten an apology from the person who exited. I thank God for this perspective. It gave me a better way to view and accept this departure. This really blessed me. Thks-

  11. Wow! Great insights Milo. You write from a place of great experience

  12. Milo…we don’t possess the power to control how others respond to us. And you’re right, most of the time, their negative interaction toward us has little to do with us. Nonetheless, we must continue to love ourselves and grow forward with an open mind and heart. Sometimes people aren’t growing the direction we are and may not even be worthy to receive of the goodness and joy we have earned and are in line for. So we let go and allow both them and us to continue our journeys. Life is waaaaaaaaay too beautiful to allow others to ruin the sweetness of its embrace. Lots of “SISTAH POWER” Love, Deborah

  13. Milo, you are a blessing! God knew where I was and he inspired you to write this. It is hard not to think that I might have offended someone, but I will stop blaming myself and let them go in peace. It gets a little lonely sometimes, but my self-worth is still intact!

    Forever Thankful!

  14. Milo, well said my friend. I know sometimes we get busy with life and don’t always have the time to give to the friendship, but we need to try and include others in our busy schedules, because one day we might be sick or just down and out of it and need that someone whom we kept out of life to come to the rescue for us. But if they have dropped us like it’s hot, then move on with your life and be happy. This just makes room for a real true person to fill their spot. There is much wisdom here Milo, thanks for including me…

  15. Good advice Milo. Sometimes people only come into your life for a Season, maybe to show you something, or simply passing through. We can not be upset when they decide to move on, just like they can not be upset if we decided the same thing as well. People get involved with their career, family, friends, relationships, and other activities that appear to leave us out of the equation. However, if you have ALWAYS maintained a good sense of SELF throughout, when these departures do occur, they will NOT change, or disrupt your life a great deal. You may simply be curious only as to their departure, but will not, and should not allow this to ALTER your own life pursuits, and journey. Sometimes your paths will cross again later in life, and it will be like they were NEVER gone…CYD

  16. Yes, it’s me again.i did’t log on yesterday, to read this topic. It is very odd.Last week, I went to work and came home and my spouse had moved out. no words,no letter. We talked finally and I asked “when did we stop being friends to the point we stopped talking. He replied ” I have nothing to say,our only issues were financial. I at that point smiled and realized “it wasn’t sbout me. I smiled, because it’s painful but necessary for me to be happy. thanks again

  17. This happened to me years ago and I still don’t know why?? Sometimes we grow apart also I find that a lot of women are competing with each other and most times are afraid to talk about and share what they’re going through!!

  18. Milo this is so true your always on point, Iam glad to have you as a friend you always tell it like it is…..


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