Don’t Get Stuck With A Label!

Don’t become stuck with labels people have pinned upon you and you don’t have to live down to their opinion of you, live beyond! Times change and so do people (who are open to change), you may not have been the most loving, honorable, respectful person growing up but that doesn’t mean you have to be the same as an adult. I wasn’t always nice and have done things that would make your jaw drop, at times a down right ass, but as an adult I take responsibility for what happened in my youth and my ignorance as a young adult. I forgave myself for my misdeeds and those who committed misdeeds against me.

You can become aware of you and your past, acknowledge your mistakes, accept and apologize for your mistakes (if able to contact the one one did wrong), forgive yourself and others and make a behavioral change growing forward towards, “Enjoying A Better You!”

If at that point you encounter someone from your past that wants to drag you backwards with actions or words. Inform them you’ve grown forward, if they can’t except it let them go! People will try to keep you down! They’ll use your past against you in an attempt to bring you back to what they want to be or feel is your reality. But it’s your past not your present, if they choose to stay in the past, let them stay. Let them know, “yeah, I did those things in my past and you know I behaved in that manner but I don’t live there anymore! I’m loving, honoring and respecting myself and others!”

Don’t ever punish yourself over and over for mistakes you’ve made! Don’t allow people to punish you over and over for mistakes you’ve made. People will always hold on to the negative and throw it at you to gain an edge in an attempt to make themselves feel or look better. If you’re aware, acknowledge, accept and moved forward, there’s no need to fear being exposed. The authentic you is real and present! The authentic you came about from your past good deeds, errors and formed you for your present being!

I wouldn’t change a thing about my past however unfortunate an action, word or circumstance. That change may change everything about me in the present! I forgive myself, I forgive you and ask you forgive me! I love who I am today, my past brought me here and I wont apologize for it over and over! I will change what I can and not worry about what I can’t and I can’t change the past, neither can you!

Today, stop punishing yourself and allowing others to punish you in action or word for your past! Let the label go!

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Let’s Stay In Love!

Falling in love is one of the best things that can happen to anyone. I’m not talking about just a strong physical attraction or settling for a relationship because you want to be with someone. I’m talking about  that intense, deeper-than-words, almost can’t explain it love. It all starts with “self-love” and your willingness to share that love. I promise you, you’ll  know it when it comes your way. Once you have it, you know you never want to let it go and should hold on and nourish the love so it’ll grow. Below are a few things I feel will keep the fire burning for a long time.

1. When you know he/she is the one for you, you must accept it’s really happening and you’re worthy of love and their worthy of yours. A lot of relationships die because people don’t accept and feel they’re worthy of love. You have to believe that you are good enough and this is really happening to you and you have an option to receive it or let it pass. You must make a conscious effort to acknowledge you’re worthy and accept it..

2. When you have finally been able to truly accept the opportunity for love and know you’re worthy, you’ve got to welcome it into your life. Welcoming love will be easy if you’ve truly accepted it entering your life. Kind loving words spoken to one another helps nurture the love and welcomes more love. Share your feelings with family and friends, they should be happy for you and that’ll help you welcome the love also.

3. Like anything else you want to grow, you must nurture and put something into it. Quality time is very important to a relationship and his investment will be key to your longevity. It’s a give and take process that both must totally commit too. If either of you are the only one giving, there’s a possibility resentment will build and failure occur. Try compromising as part of the investment, you don’t like the mall but go with her sometimes, she doesn’t like the sports bar but go with him sometimes. Trust me, these things make a difference and are well worth it. You need to see her/him enjoying themselves doing things they like.

4. Be available for your partner and offer of yourself to make their day better. This will show you care, express what he/she means to you and how good they make you feel, listen to his/her feelings, thoughts, and opinions. The more you offer of yourself, the more they’ll trust in your true support and feelings and the more you will receive from the relationship. Be open to trying something new, which is outside of your norm, it’ll display trust in them and they’ll appreciate that, in and outside of the bedroom this will keep this fresh. Love is an action word so take action and do something.

5.  Love him/her unconditionally! This will remove all barriers and create a free-flowing love that opens doors. You’ll bond on a higher level, maybe even more than you thought was possible. Don’t hold back, let go and love. Be compassionate, considerate, loving, honorable, respectful and honest. Share your passion about things you like to do and want he/she to participate in and/or lend support. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable to your partner, it’s a gift you give to them and allows them to see inside you.

I don’t claim to know it all and I know I didn’t cover it all but if you communicate openly and honestly. You’ll discover all you need to maintain a healthy loving relationship. You must have self-love, self-awareness and acknowledge the truth and it’s power!

Have a wonderful day and be the difference!

Published in: on November 23, 2009 at 7:58 am  Comments (13)  

Disappointment’s Occur In Life, Face It and Move Forward!

Has anyone ever promised you something and you never received it? You let other things pass because you expected something that was agreed upon, only to have it snatched from beneath you? Someone said they’d do something but never did? These things will happen and people will disappoint you by not keeping their word!

It may upset you and you’ll be dissatisfied with the failure of your expectations, it’s a natural response related to anticipated rewards that never manifest. It can cause frustration, depression and cause you to blame (others or yourself).

There are those who recover from disappointment quickly and you can knock out “Disappointment!” What really gets you is the inability to prepare for disappointment. Say your stocks go up 200% percent and you sell it feeling elated. Then next week you realize the stock is up 300% and if you waited you would’ve made more money so you become disappointed in your action to sell early.

Disappointment drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. But while overcoming disappointment isn’t easy, it’s far from impossible. You can’t beat it through sheer willpower, but you do have some control—even if your disappointment is severe and stubbornly persistent. The key to recovery is to start small and build from there. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself and draw on the support of others.

Here’s a few things you can do:

1. Share what’s happening with a trusted friend or family member. Ask for their help and support when needed, don’t hold it inside. DO NOT HOLD IT INSIDE!

2. Stay social, we have a tendency to retreat within ourselves and dwell, let it go. Get out and be around other people it’ll get it off your mind and allow better energy to flow within you.

3. Go out and get some sun, I know some of you are saying okay Milo, you’re nuts. But really the sun promotes health and provides you with vitamin D which is very important for health. Boost your intake of vitamin B, it energizes you! Take some yohimbe!

4. Speak positively and don’t allow negative thought’s to stay on your mind. I’ll be fine, it’s a beautiful day, I’ve done some great things and will do more, I love me and those around me, I wish love and success in abundance for all. I love, honor and respect myself and something great is about to enter my life.

5. Be aware of what happened, acknowledge what happened, accept what happened, forgive the offender, forgive yourself and let it go!

6. When people have disappointed me, I’ve always said, “if this is the worst thing that happens in my life, I’m going to be fine and live a great life!”

7. Think of all the blessings you’ve received and know you have more coming. This set back is only positioning you for a come up! You can’t stay down because your possibilities are infinite and growth boundless.

8. Tell yourself the truth, do all you can do about it and move on. What more can you do if you’ve done all you can do!

I love you, now love yourself enough to grow forward, learning the lesson and losing the pain!

Why Don’t You Talk To Me Anymore!

IMG_9635What would you do if someone you cared about (friend, lover, family member, co-worker) all of a sudden stopped talking to you? Just out of the blue with no explanation, note, nothing, just cut you off. How would that make you feel and what would you do? A large number of us would immediately reflect upon our last conversation with that person and wonder what we said wrong. Yes, you’d look to see where you made an error and possibly offended this person. “What did I do?” That question you ask yourself starts a downward spiral and brings to the surface crap that you’ve stored about you or never existed.

Odds are you didn’t do anything, it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you! People can do what they want to do and not consult you when they do it. People see the same things but in different ways. My opinion and yours though on the same subject matter may be as different as night and day!

Whenever you make yourself wrong because of the way someone else treats you or reacts to you, you reduce your sense of self. You also decrease your sense of self-worth and give energy to your doubt and insecurities. You can become willing to make yourself wrong, simply for being you; and to satisfy someone else. Don’t do that to yourself, let them go in peace!

There will be times people in your life will decide they don’t want you as part of their lives anymore. For whatever reason they deem acceptable, at that point you must honor and respect it and move on. It may be painful and confusing but it’ll be a reality and you must let them go. Don’t beat yourself up wondering why, what did I do? Accept their choice, honor it and respect their wishes! I had a friend that stopped talking to me a few years ago and this weekend e-mailed me out of the blue asking for help. My initial reaction was, “you speaking to me now?” and want some help! No way! Then I immediately opened up to the servant I’m meant to be and I should be welcoming, grateful I can help someone. I extended myself and sent an e-mail back with my phone number and said, “tell me what you need, I’ll help you!”. There leaving didn’t lower anything about me!

People will stop talking to you and  remove you from their life for whatever reason. Don’t point a finger at yourself feeling you did something wrong. Odds are it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Move yourself out of the position of being wrong because of the way others choose to act or react towards you. Treat yourself with a high sense of self-worth, sense of being and  heighten your self-awareness!

Always be welcoming and seek love and peace!

Published in: on November 16, 2009 at 8:00 am  Comments (18)  
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Why Is Being Alone So Frightening!

_MG_1955Just because you’re afraid of being alone isn’t a good reason to stay in a relationship. For you to stay in that situation is a betrayal and dishonor to yourself. When you stay stuck in that illusion of  happiness, just to be with someone you lower your self-worth. At that point you’re being unsupported, unappreciated and/or unacknowledged in your relatioship. When you have to give yourself a reason to stay and think happiness, joy and love is just around the corner, you’re minimizing you! We also often get into relationships with the wrong people just because we are afraid and don’t want to be alone.

I know it’s hard to realize that the way we treat ourselves sets the example to others how to treat us, but it’s true. Many of us allow people to treat us the way they have because we have no idea we can be treated better. Being treated badly becomes acceptable because we think it’s better than being alone. I’ve been guilty of it myself and just wanted to hold on to her, just so I could say, “I have a woman!” During my weakened state of being due to unfortunate events in my life. She treated me bad because I allowed her to treat me bad and I was treating myself bad by not loving, honoring and respecting myself enough to know better. That was the ultimate act of me betraying me! The ultimate insult to self-love! By the time I acknowledged to myself what was happening and tried to change it, it was too late. I’d let it go on for so long it became common place to her and I couldn’t change it, she was too comfortable with it. After acknowledging it to myself and trying to make a change, I could no longer claim being a victim. If I stayed, I would be creating and facilitating the abuse, dishonor and disrespect I was receiving. So I left and never looked back! It was hard but every time I felt uneasy about it, I reminded myself how bad I was treated and I had taken enough, time to let go and grow.

There’s nothing wrong with staying in a relationship to work things out but when nothings working it’s time to go. There’s nothing wrong with being alone, it’s better than being treated bad. It allows you time to become more aware of you, heal, heighten your level of consciousness, self-love and self-worth. Being alone treating your self better will be an example to the next person entering your life how to treat you.

You may think being alone is worse than being in a relationship that isn’t working. Take some time for you to have an open honest conversation with you. Tell yourself the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! He or she who lies to themselves is a fool! Ask yourself, “Why am I afraid to be alone with me? Why do I continue to allow them to treat me bad? Is this the best I can do? Why do I stay in this relationship? Am I truly loving, honoring and respecting myself? Is this where I want to be? Are they ever going to change? Are they actively working towards change? Write the answers down and read them to yourself out loud! Hear yourself speaking the truth that is coming from within you. Then make a decision as to the direction you want to go and stick to it!

Spend some time with you and you’ll realize you can consult, console and respond appropriately to anything! There’s nothing wrong with being alone sometime. If you can’t stand to be alone with you, how can you expect anyone else to want too!

Published in: on November 9, 2009 at 8:05 am  Comments (18)  

Giving Without Expectation of Recognition or Reward

DSC00223Giving isn’t always about helping someone. It’s about giving what you have to offer the world without expectation of receiving anything in return. It’s about doing what needs to be done, without being asked to do it. You’ll be giving of yourself and giving attention to things and people around you without taking anyway from yourself. Anything less than this is an injustice to the essence of giving and anything more is a potential domination based action.

Give of what you have without expecting to receive anything in return. Do what needs to be done, nothing more, nothing less! Give lovingly and joyously, there’s nothing more to do or can be done. There are many things you receive daily that were giving by others out of the kindness of their hearts. We’re all guilty of not noticing these free gifts that are a blessing in our daily lives. We don’t even know what person to thank in most cases. But they were given because it was what was needed to be done and someone took the responsibility to make it happen.

Put forth an effort to give! This is a reward within itself for you, the universe and those who benefit from your thoughtfulness. Sit for a moment and think of what you know needs to be done and go do it.

Someone will be grateful and it will not deplete you, it’ll display the love, joy, kindness and compassion that lives within you!

Published in: on November 2, 2009 at 9:30 am  Comments (14)