Forgive Your Mother!

MommaDid your mother ever do you wrong and you feel she had to know she was wrong? You feel, if she didn’t know then, surely she knows by now and she never apologized! You remember all of it until this day and it hurts. “Mellow Into The Moment” and forgive your mother, because until you do, there will be pain deeply embedded in your heart and soul, that’ll screw you up forever! Forgive her for what she’s said, done, didn’t do and didn’t say. Forgive her for leading you down a dark road because she was lost. Forgive her for not supporting things that meant a lot to you and she just dismissed them. Forgive her for lack of knowledge when you were too young to know and she couldn’t protect you. Forgive her for dragging you into crap because she felt entitled. Forgive her for asking things of you, she didn’t even expect or provide of herself. Forgive her, NOT to excuse her actions but to free yourself from the pain. Your mother loves you and did the best she could with what she had and the knowledge in her possession. She loved you best she knew how! Forgive her and forgive yourself for holding onto the pain! Be thankful for your mother!

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Published in: on August 5, 2009 at 6:07 am  Comments (27)  

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  1. Being a mom is the toughest job I’ve ever had, and I know that I’m probably messing up all over the place, but I’m doing my best. My mom did her best too. When ya know better, ya do better, so thank you Milo, for helping us all to grow and learn. Hopefully the mistakes we made will be different mistakes than our parents made. I love you, Mom! ♥

    • I apologized to my kids long ago and I’m going to call and do it again today. They know daddy isn’t perfect and I’m doing my best, I love them unconditionally and I’m always here for them. All we can do is our best, life is a learning process and as long as you stay open you’ll learn. We discuss our mistakes and try to do better, I love my kids and they love their daddy!

  2. Milo, suggested to me that I write a letter to my mother to tell her exactly how I feel. This was the best advice that I could ever take. Because I realized that by reading my letter it allowed her to actually understand what I was saying instead of just hearing me… Plus it help me to more towards forgiving my mother because it opened up a line of communication that was never there before. Thanks Milo for sharing your advice and your experiences with us…..

    • I’m glad you wrote that letter so you and your mom can communicate and grow. I use to write my mom letters, eventually she stopped reading them and started respecting what I had to say more. So there was no longer a need to write them. We talked and laughed last night about my brothers. She always calls me for advice and I’m the youngest!

  3. I could probably think of things I did not agree with that my mom did in my past,but I am older now to know WHY she did them. It’s called “TOUGH LOVE” in a sense. She may have been hard on me, but that same tough love allowed me to graduate one year earlier from high school with scholarships to college,be independent,a Leader and not a Follower, and to use my MIND, because a mind is a terrible thing to waste. The things she did help mold and shape me into the WOMAN I am today, and for that I do not have to forgive her for ANYTHING but tell her that she did an excellent job and I love her. I am about to do just that….as I call her and she just picked up the phone with a “Hello baby”——–I just told her too! For those who do not have to forgive their mothers, tell them thank you too today….I just made her day! BE BLESSED PEOPLE……………………….CYD

    • I called mine too! We chatted like to old friends sitting on the front porch at dusk! My mom did a lot of stuff, some tough love, some for whatever reason she had but I know she loves me and she’s not perfect, neither am I. I know I was hell on wheels as a child, I’m lucky she didn’t kill me!

  4. Sharon GotoForgivness it can be easy only if your heart and mind is ready. I spoke to my pastor about forgivness. He ask me if I forgave this person would my heart forgive, I answered no. Then he said until your mind and heart is ready then you will forgive and heal.
    17 seconds ago · Sharon GotoOh never had to forgive my Mother ask her forgivness alot and she gave it. She is no longer with me. But if asking her for forgivness brought her back to me that would be my daily mantra

  5. 5 years ago…as I was working on a client, I stopped dead in my tracks as I received a call from my Mother. She simply said “Nomi Jane…ya know when I had you and your brother, it was the first time I was a Mother…so if I screwed up along the way, I’M sorry…I really am.” With that I said…”I forgive you Mom…thank you for saying that…and I’m sorry too for judging you and for being so angry at you for all these years.” Since that day…I’ve never looked back or at her with judgmental eyes again…it freed me. Absolutely freed me! Thanks you Milo for reminding me of the power forgiveness has.

  6. Great affirmation! I had a very strong and controlling mother, who I later found great appreciation for. Coming up, it was hard to understand why she was so strict and didn’t allow me to hang with certain people… thank God for her keen discernment and her many prayers because she was 99.5% right most of the time. I lost my mother a few years ago but I am grateful, it was at a time when the light had come on and I had the opportunity to express my gratitude, sincere love and ask for forgiveness for the things I didn’t understand as a young girl. She knew God’s purpose and she lived and fulfilled her purpose by giving what I needed to fulfill mine.

    Today, I am reminded of the best friend I ever had and the greatest example of motherly love… her spirit and words of wisdom are embedded in my heart forever.

  7. Morning Milo, this commentary doesn’t apply to me. I was great with my mother she was a wonderful God-fearing Christian woman. I am blessed and thankful for the time I had her in my life. I am in anticipation of “Forgive your Father” *smile* I would love to read your knowledge on that topic. Have a wonderful day!! Ms. Kim

  8. We also need to forgive ourselves for not forgiving our mother, afterall we are adults now and there will come a time we will be asking for forgiveness too. .Only what’s fair and right makes all the difference in the world so we must let mothers be mothers and forgive their mistakes if they were mistakes.Many times they were protecting us to keep us alive the best they knew how. Evidently it worked because we’re able to read these comments.
    “A clean slate always welcomes a fresh anointing”

  9. Good Morning Milo, I had a crazy mother! At least that’s what I thought back then when she tried to choke to me death for talking back to her. Now as an adult we laugh about those times and her tough love made me the strong and beautiful woman I am today.
    Have a Great Day!
    Kat

  10. My mom will always be my best friend. I miss her dearly. I remember when I cared for her and I took her to one of her many doctor visits. The Dr. asked if she had stopped smoking, she said “oh yes.” I looked at her, rolled my eyes and said loudly “moma I’ve had enough of this lying, tell the truth.” She looked at me and said “in front of the Dr., “you just wait – I’m going to get you” while pointing her finger at me in strong disapproval of what I had just told her doctor.” I shook in my shoes while driving (Mrs. Daisey) home from the doctor’s office. :o) I thought she was going to pop me upside the back my head because of my “outburst of prevailing truth.” My mom will always be remembered in my heart for the good, her wit, the ability to tell a BONE face lie with a smile on her face coupled with the love she displayed in her last few weeks of life on this side of heaven. Miss you mommy….. RIP

  11. Thanks Kim for making me laugh and enjoying your mother in her true state of being. I bet you both enjoyed one anothers company and she’s missed dearly. Surely she misses you too. Bone face lie? LOL, my momma can do that too, I just look at her and laugh on the inside.

  12. Forgiving your mother is hard, but like someone else said a lot of her ways I appreciate now. My mom was overly critical and constantly embarassed me about my weight, which wasn’t even an issue then, but did later become one. If I went for seconds she would always say, keep it up and you’ll be big as a house. As an adult, I became obsessed with my weight and she criticized me for that, go figure. I don’t forgive her, because I accept her for who she is. She loves me more than life itself and meant no harm. I love and understand that her hurtful comments are not meant to hurt me.

  13. It’s good to forgive. Now you can move on with your life and start to live.

    I love you and keep up the good writing.

  14. Milo, you are so on point, sometimes we blame our parents for the pains in our lives but I am realizing as I grow (not get older), but grow that our parents did the best they could with what they had whether it was financial, spiritual, or emotional they gave.It is time to forgive and move towards your greatness and maybe God is giving us a chance with our children to get it right.

  15. Milo, This really, really, brings tears to my eyes just writing about my mother, because she passed away so suddenly in (1989) she just closed her eyes and went to sleep. You see,I stayed angry at my mom because she died and I did’t get the chance to say good-bye to her. I know this sounds childish (immaature in behavior)of me but, hey (I’am the baby of the family)and she was the person that I talked to practically every day. We would spend so much time talking, yet I never got around to saying this– Mommy you made my life better just by being it. You listened to me, you confided in me, you made me laugh, you lifted me up and helped me out when my credit cards were maxed-out! You made me feel like there’s somebody in this world who really understands and care about me. I miss telling you what’s going on in my life and to listen to what’s new in yours. It’s hard for me to say good-bye to you. So I’ll just say that I hope you know you’ll always have an important place in my life, and there will always be a place in my heart just for you. Now that Im grown and more grateful, because more and more I see what kind of mother I’ve been blessed with all the along–the perfect mom for me! “I can let go now and let God”

    With warm regards, Joyce

  16. @ Milo, WOW!!! This is really a sore spot for me… While I have forgiven the woman that adopted me, and the only knowledge of a mother, it still hurts. I must agree with you, I had to forgive her to move on with my life, to have a happier & productive life, but the lack of not having a mother still haunts me as I continue my new journey in life. I’m learning late in life that I have complete and total control of my destiny; I just regret some of the obstacles I have created for others, and have had to endure.

  17. Milo…as a child of two Xtremely disfunctional parents who didn’t know any better or they would have done better, this is one of the first steps I had to take as I journeyed into this incredible life I now live…and I said “incredible”…not perfect! I had to forgive my father for sexually abusing me from the ages of 4 – 15 and forgive my mother for not protecting me. I had to forgive so that I could “grow up” and “grow on” into the life I was created to live and would learn to love. So…my “BROTHA” I agree with you wholeheartedly and highly recommend that anyone who’s seeking to live an empowered and enriched life do the same. And…thanks for being there for all of us who are continuing the journey forward into the fullness of the futures we were created to Xperience and love. Lots of “SISTAH POWER” Love, Deborah

  18. Forgiveness is key, especially forgiving our parents for the real and perceived wrongs.

  19. My Mom is my soul mate. We can feel each others heartbeats from miles away (especially when it is beating faster from some type of stress or happiness). I am proud to have learned forgiveness from her. When it was time to forgive my mother I thought it was the most difficult thing I needed to accomplish. In retrospective, having gone through the experience I would have to say it was very easy to let go of the hurt and anger.

    My mother taught me one of the most important lessons this far, “If you want to be forgiven YOU must know how to forgive as well.” I love my Momma!!

    Great topic Milo!

  20. Wow Milo,you did it again. If God can forgive us everyday for our mistakes that we make, how can we not forgive our mothers, the bearers of Nations and our nests. This topic is the most closest to my heart because for so many years I resented my mother for not being there for me and my brother when we were growing up. She left me and my brother with my grandparents when I was 3yrs and he was 1yr. And the first time I saw her I was 16yrs old, and thats when she decided for me and my brother to come live with her. It was hard, she was a stranger to both of us, and my brother ran away from home so many times because he couldn’t stand her and didn’t want to forgive her for not being there. As a girl, I needed my mother, so I stayed and cried myself to sleep each night, couldn’t relate or even share anything with her, even when I started dating, I couldn’t speak to her about anything. To cut story short,I moved to a different state from where my mother used to live, and she came to visit one day, I couldn’t even sit in the same room with her, eventually called my half sister and we had to talk about this. For the first time, I cried for 3 hours with the pain in my heart that I was carrying, told her everything she did to hurt me, and she asked for forgiveness and our relationship started. I moved and lived in England for few years and came back to look after my mom when she got sick. She passed away 3 years ago from cancer, but I am glad that we were very close when she went to be with the Lord. Rest in peace mama, I Love You…

  21. This one hits close to home I do forgive her but live with her judgement everyday. One that will always be the hardest to live with is her constant disapproval of who should be suitable to be part of our family and social class as she puts it. “That man is not up to our standards he just does not fit in” she would say. I guess we never seem to realise how subconsciously seeking our mother’s and family’s approval influences our choices in life.

  22. Hello Milo,

    Nice piece…;-) I am so blessed to have a wonderful mother…she is my ‘Shero’ and has always supported me even when she disciplined me…she let me be who I am and gave me the best guidance without judgement…even now, I am realizing just how great my mother is…think I’ll go call her right now and let her know!…Thanks for the reminder…;-)

    In Light,

    Nina

  23. Taking a deep breath(I hope I don’t write a book)… This supject is really hard for me because I lost my mom when I was 10years old… But I gotta speak on this because it talks about forgiveness n I’m a strong believer in forgiveness… When I lost my mom I became very angry n untrusting of people… I was placed in foster homes n family never came to visit they would say that they was coming but never did… It was a hard n very lonely road for a child to travel down… As a child I felt abanded by my mother n family so I became angry n very bitter… That anger n bitterness followed me into adulthood… Ok to make a long story short I had my first child at a young age but I didn’t raise her… she’s grown now but we’re not close… When I try talking to her about it she shuts down n said she dosent want to talk about it… I pray every day thanking God that he gives her the grace to find forgiveness n open up to me about her feelings so we can find closer… We not long been back in contact with eachother, but she dont call me n when I call she’s like oh hi, but most of the time she dosent answer my calls… I need her to forgive me for not being a part of her life… But what I want the most is for her to let go of the anger n to be happy because I know what holding on to anger can do… I need her to forgive not for me! No I need her to forgive for herself so she can be set free… I use to cry about it a lot but now I have let go n put it in Gods hands… I sent her this topic rite now… I’m glad I found u Milo thanks for the topic…God bless

  24. I forgot to mention I am free of the anger n bitterness by forgiving my mom, family n others who hurt me in the past… I found forgiveness through consolers… To me forgiving is like a weight being lifed off your shoulders n u can breath easier… I want to share how I learned to forgive n let go… What I did was I wrote down everybody’s name who hurt me on a piece of paper even the kids at school who pulled my hair as we stood in line for class… I said a prayer of forgiveness decide in my heart, soul n mind that I want to let it go… Let it go! Then I sent all my family members letters n cards letting them know that I forgive them for not being there… Forgiveness is a powerful thing but it’s also a choice… I hope this was helpful to someone n if u need anymore word on this subject I’m opened to chat…God bless


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