Remove Bitterness From Your Life! Part VI of the VII Part Platinum Series!

BusinessI’ve talked to a number of people on the subject of bitterness. It turned out to be more dangerous and widespread than I thought. I wont speak about particular incidents that were shared with me. I’m grateful for those who share their experiences with me and will always respect the confidentiality I promised. I’ve always been interested in what people think and how they function, also how they respond to any given situation. I’ve listened intently and thought in depth concerning bitterness, I’m know authority of nothing but have sought the absolute truth and here’s my truth!

Bitterness has become one of the major mental problems existing in our present society and a clear showing of a fragmented life. Due to the failures and let downs people have experienced bitterness has consumed a large portion of our society. There seems to be a fine line between bitterness, anger wanting revenge and deep hurt! The blurred grey area seems to be where people feel they’ve crossed the line or their actions are rational. Bitterness is never rational!

Bitterness is a deeply rooted anger that eats away at you and becomes extremely painful and resentment filled due to bad experiences or feelings of unfair treatment by others. It can be harsh and unpleasant to accept what happened in your past, filling you with anger that seeps into every aspect of your life and causing you huge problems.

Bitterness can alienate you from people you care about and who care about you and also cut off new opportunities. Your bitterness punishes family, friends and the general public for things that have nothing to do with them. Eventually they’ll tire of your ways and just leave you alone. Which will create a gap and make way growing apart and losing the positive connection you had and yes you have a connection with the general public too. Long time frustration can lead to bitterness. Many times you don’t even realize it has seeped into your life, creating a resentful attitude clear to everyone but you.

Bitterness can and will put you in a bad place with the divine spirit! It causes the loss of your divine connection, which is the channel to receiving your blessings and the rewards the divine has in store for you. Bitterness causes you to be cruel, antagonistic, arrogant, vengeful, implacable, condescending, stubborn, grounded in self-pity and expressing hatred.

Bitterness isn’t rational; it’s your worse enemy and will consume you. Bitterness is the main cause of breakups within a family and in marriage! It is difficult to maintain any type of relationship with a bitter person. They’re antisocial, inconsiderate, withdrawn and indifferent to normal social behaviors, even strangers avoid bitter people, they suck the air out of the room and no one can be happy around them.

How do we get rid of bitterness? The first thing to do is release it to the divine spirit and recognize it’s not yours. It’s Gods job to make things right, when you surrender it all to the Lord and truly let it go, you’ll feel the relief! It’s as simple as saying, “Lord I surrender unto thee all that I have! The good, the bad and the ugly, do with it as you see fit it’s yours to handle!” When you say it, you have to mean it and let go of whatever has happened. Tell yourself the truth about what happened in your life, the role you played in the drama and surrender it. There’s nothing more you can do! You’ve told the truth, now you must let it go!

Also, be thankful for all the good things in your life, concentrating on the boundless possibilities of positive things in the future and not focus on anything negative. When people start talking to you about negative things, tell them you don’t want to go there, you’ve chosen the positive route. You’ll start to feel better, enjoy peace and contentment, rejecting negativity. Negativity can’t get into your life unless you allow it, it’s a choice and so is bitterness!

Once you surrender and make the choice to be positive, loving, honorable, respectful, compassionate and all the other positives that come along with true love and the joy of living. You’ll be enjoying yourself, loving people and they’ll be loving you and your company. They may even tell you how much they missed the person that disappeared into a dark place and are glad you’re back. Think about it, there’s nothing more attractive and lights up a room like a joyful person being loving, warm and approachable. When you make that change and move towards the positive light, you’ll experience beautiful things happening in your life, doors will open just as your heart has and the abundance of love that surrounds you will step in and lift you to new heights.

Choose, peace, love and joy! Let the bitterness go, it’s not yours or meant for you!

Published in: on August 30, 2009 at 10:08 pm  Comments (17)  
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“Insecurities and The Relationship,” Part V of the VII Part Series

InsecurityLord knows I have my own insecurities, one of which is I refuse to pull my shirt off at the beach due to this portion of fat that has setup residency on my sides and lower abdomen. I call it, Hagen Daaz Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Hagen Daaz Strawberry and Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra Ice Cream. I swear everyone’s looking at my fat and even Stevie Wonder can see it! It’s screaming here I am look at me all around his sides! The real challenge to my security is leaving this in the article for the world to read.

With every relationship old or new, insecurities may rear their ugly heads. Even though it sounds fairly easy to say, I’m dropping the old baggage and moving forward with my life, it’s not easily done. With every relationship a person learns something new about themselves and the other person. Instead of trying to forget the past or dragging the baggage into the future. You should learn from it, acknowledge, admit, accept and then it let go!

Insecurity is a slow moving fire that will eventually destroy the bare essence of a relationship. It lays down a fragile foundation of loss and if not dealt with in a timely manner, it can kill your relationship. Changing your attitude and outlook on life can help you overcome insecurity. You must try to be more confident and access the beauty in you that brings you joy. Instead of being pessimistic drawing on the negative, become optimistic and develop a positive approach towards life, success and joy. Stop looking at yourself as lacking confidence (“I’m not smart enough to engage in that conversation”) and having low self-esteem (“I don’t deserve this woman/man, their out of my league”).

If a person lacks certainty and security, insecurity is soon to follow. In relationships insecurities create an unstable environment. An insecure person who’s constantly blaming the other person and is behaving in an unbecoming manner to gain stability themselves, is scared. Surely this sounds a little odd, acting unstable to gain a stable position but stability is essential and a needed survival skill, you’ll fight for it in strange ways. We’ve all conducted ourselves in that manner before because we all have insecurities. We live in an uncertain, unpredictable world that routinely throws us for a loop! Let’s learn how to manage the insecurities so they don’t’ ruin the good things we have.

In order to be in a healthy relationship we must have Friendship, Passion and Commitment! To be in a healthy relationship we also have to let down our defenses and trust everything will be fine. Your significant other is with you because you’re an amazing person and sometimes you have to remind yourself of that and your significant other does too. Stop sabotaging your relationships with junk that you drum up and give life too, when it doesn’t exist! Drudging up the past will affect your future, so love yourself in the present and share the new, with the person that loves you. This makes life beautiful.

I have know idea what everyone’s insecurities are but I’ve listened too and learned from a large number of people. I’ve also learned from my own insecurities and those whom I’ve been in relationships with. I’m know authority of nothing and this is my opinion only. I always hear and read about people pointing out insecurities, so I want to write about prevention and solutions, rather than the actual insecure act itself. Here’s a list of some behavioral changes I feel will help our relationships be more secure.

1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate and share sensitive issues. It’s O.K. to talk about your ex relationship in an appropriate manner, especially when it comes to information. Then your significant other will know some of what to do and not do, being aware of some of your sensitive issues. Remember your ex is just that for more than one reason and you can’t look at your significant other and drag negatives into the relationship because of something the ex did. So be upfront and clear the air so you both can grow together and respect one another’s sensitive issues.

2. Look at your own life and what’s going on around you. Look at it from your significant others point of view. If you were your significant other would you like to see the things you’re doing and if the answer is no, stop doing them. For instance if you’re in a relationship and your Facebook page say’s “Single.” Not cool! Some chose not to mention their status and that’s their choice but to misrepresent can cause a problem and create instability.

3. Anyone in your life has to be respectful of your current significant other. Ask to be introduced to all male and female friends, by their interaction you’ll be able to tell if they had a past or not and if some funny business is going on. If you’re talking to a friend, there should be no need to run into another room to have the conversation. Everything should be upfront and nothing to hide. If you have private conversations it sets off an alarm and raises concern from your significant other. Trust me you don’t want the mind to wonder because it can take on a journey. A lie can travel half way around the world before the truth makes it a mile.

4. Remove lies from your life! I’ll say it again, “REMOVE LIES FROM YOUR LIFE!” Big ones, small ones, lies by omission, all of it, tell the truth and tell it fast. The truth is absolute and the same today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow. Grown folks and loving, honorable, respectful people don’t have to lie. You may feel the truth would be too much to handle but constantly lying is what can’t be handled and it brings everything you say into question. Sometimes it’s better to not say anything but if constantly pushed to say something, don’t lie. Tell the truth and make it clear, the other person may not like it but at least they wont have to investigate and trust me there will be an investigation if you appear to be lying. Insecurities can arise from having to investigate!

5. Respect the activities of your significant other. If he was watching football on Sundays with the fellas when you met him and she was shoe shopping and having tea with the girls on Saturday. It would be wrong of either one of you to try and change that. Don’t invite yourself to his/her outing, if they want you around they’ll invite you. Before you came along this was his/her bonding time and it should be respected and seen as just that. Don’t let your mind wonder and turn it into something it’s not.

6. Apologize when you’re wrong! Don’t think you’re entitled to speak to your significant other anyway you want too. Be respectful of them and honor their emotions. They may ask for an apology and you may feel you don’t have too. Trust me it’ll setup a question of friendship, respect and compassion for them and they may not ask for an apology again but they’ll never forget it. Some people have a real problem with saying, “I’m sorry!” Your stubbornness and rationalizing your right to treat another wrong and think it’s OK, will coast you dearly in the long run. You’d better learn to admit and apologize. Rationalizing your crap can create insecurities. This one is a very serious offense!

7. Do not attack or put down ones family members. They may not get along with their family well but blood is thicker than water and you surely don ‘t know the whole story that has taking several years to unfold. He/she may be head over hills in love with you but you dump on family, “Houston we have a problem!” Instead of strong-arming your way into family importance, consider the importance of your own family and how you feel about them. Never push his/her family importance to the side and if you can’t get along with them avoid unpleasant moments in their company and keep it moving. Bring a friend along with you who’s uplifting and supportive and that will give you someone to talk too. Ride in separate cars so you can leave if need be. He or she will understand, they know some of their family members are a pain in the butt. You bringing a friend or leaving will be more acceptable than you snapping. Trust me! Family is Family!

8. Do not under any circumstances, THREATEN one another or leave room for thoughts of a possible threat! Walk away, get off the phone or ask them to leave your place! Just separate before it turns into something ugly and unbecoming of positive growth. Real drama can be avoided if you separate and take a minute to think about what you’re saying and doing. Admit the truth to yourself about the role you’re playing in this situation and approach one another with the truth. Insecurities can occur when a person says something harsh and even though they apologize the other doesn’t let it go, dragging it around and even throws it up from time to time. Words can leave an open wound for life, so be impeccable with your word!

9. Don’t question their knowledge or use of it, it’s not yours it’s their’s and it’s insulting for you to state or imply they don’t use it properly or well. It’s like telling someone their fat everyday and wanting them to feel thin. Surely you wouldn’t want anyone to say that to you and if they’re weak you’ll only cause them to not speak their mind. They may speak less to you about things that really matter to them, creating division. We are all entitled to our own thoughts and to have them respected. You questioning or poking holes will only separate you and insecurities will creep in. They will leave and find someone who respects their thoughts and find them fine just the way they are. Respect another view, learn and grow together, you don’t know it all. Focus on the great qualities of your significant other, surely they have great knowledge for you to tap into.

10. Communicate your fears and insecurities to your significant other, instead of keeping it to yourself. They may be able to help you overcome that feeling and open up about theirs and you both grow together creating a trusting, compassionate bond. You should celebrate commitment, passion and friendship, it’s great and the comfort and rewards are plentiful. Remove your ego, the past negatives and be grateful for the now and positive possibilities in the future with the great person in front of you. Be open and honest with each other and insecurities will not destroy what you’ve built. Sometimes will all need a little reassurance as a cure all for the wondering mind.

Permission to reprint is contingent on credit to Milo Edwards

Published in: on August 27, 2009 at 6:27 am  Comments (14)  


ClosureCLOSURE, the act of bringing something to an end. Mental and emotional detachment to the point of completeness, honoring what you feel. “Mellow Into The Moment” and be truthful about what you feel and the role you played in the drama that has unfolded in your life, surrender and let it go. People enter your life for a purpose! It may be for a season or a lifetime, recognize it and respect it! Honor what you feel, address it and close the door on it. Don’t allow it to turn into luggage and you carry it around with you, seeping into every other aspect of your life causing problems.

Published in: on August 26, 2009 at 6:51 am  Comments (26)  

“What Do Men Really Want,” Part IV of the VII Part Series!

Mental Flight!

What do men really want? I hang with the fellas and pay attention to what they say and do, even when they’re playing, because there’s some truth in their play. Every man will be different but a large number of men are drawn to the same thing. I promise you it’s not always a beautiful face and body, for beauty is in the eye of the beholder and men are not as shallow as some think. Women, you thinking that way is a huge error and will turn a man off quickly, it’s insulting. The looks we love, when it comes too woman are as diverse as our thought’s. In order for you to keep the attention of a loving, honorable, respectful man, you must first do the same for yourself. What men really want seems to puzzle a number of women but it’s simple and rarely complex. Most women have tried to solve this puzzle many times in their lives and have a tendency to over think things, bringing about failure to understand. So ladies please keep it simple! I do not have the collective conscious or subconscious thoughts of all men. I can only give my opinion and I’m no authority of nothing but I think in depth, remove my ego and seek the truth. So here’s my truth!

Men love a variety of things and yes, your physical appearance makes a difference but not like you think. Some men like them skinny, some thick, some fat, big butt, no butt, thin legs, big legs, long hair, short hair and it goes on. Lord knows we love sex too but sex without mental stimulation can get old quick, men love delightful conversation with their women. Yes your man wants to hear you speak and speak well, not gossip, blame, complain and other negatives. I know that when a woman is crazy about a man she wants him to feel the same way about her! Guess what, he’s the same way.

There are some things I’ve heard men say they really want and each are equally important. I will highlight the four I heard most and add others at the end.

If a woman exudes CONFIDENCE and loves herself being exactly who she is, it’s like wow! If you do that you’re very likely to catch the heart of a man. He’d love to be chosen out of want rather than desperation. Be CONFIDENT and create a full rewarding life of your own and watch his eyes light up. ATTITUDE, men do not find a woman who’s negative, attractive. You can physically be the most beautiful woman in the world but if you have a bad attitude, he’ll dump you, yes have sex with you then dump you. If you can make a man smile and laugh, he’ll love being with you. Men want a woman who’s happy and knows how to have fun. This will grab his attention and make him want to be around you.

Men also love INDEPENDENCE, unless you unfortunately find one who wants total control of his woman but some women like that. When you show you can handle your own, you’re ambitious and willing to take risk, his brain takes notice and heart swells. He sees you as a woman who makes things happen and wont be waiting on him to do it all. He’ll be willing to and offer to help you anyway possible to reach your goal and be excited about it. He’ll find you irresistible for your INDEPENDENCE. There is no room for JEALOUSY in a relationship, if you want to keep him get rid of JEALOUSY. If you display this it shows, lack of confidence, insecurities, lack of trust in him and you’re not self-assured. This makes a man very uncomfortable and he doesn’t know when you’ll decide to act up and become embarrassing and putting him on edge isn’t a good thing.

I’ve found other things that make a difference also and here they are:

1. Men want women who know how a man is to be treated. A woman who competes with a man and attacks his flaws kills his genius. Acknowledging what he does right is a better route and he’ll work on his flaws just as you work on yours. Don’t attack and don’t always make him wrong. Treat him well and let him see the love in your eyes and concern for his being. Yes we can see it!

2. Men want to be appreciated, give him your undivided attention sometimes in a positive way and don’t greet him with a bag of complaints. Greet him with a kiss and ask how his day has been. Thank him for what he’s done to make your day easier.

3. Be respectful, it’s a solid foundation for a loving relationship. He doesn’t want to be put down in public, he wants to be treated with dignity, show the same respect you want.

4. We just want to be loved too. A tender touch, a soft word, a loving smile. Yes, we’re tough and can take on the world but need some tenderness in our lives too. Don’t forget about or minimize our emotions.

5. Men want honesty in communication, no trick questions meant to deceive which starts a fight. Say what you want, we’re not always trying to read between the lines. We’re not mind readers! Tell it like it is, let’s talk and move towards our joy. Men don’t like beating around the bush, say what you mean the first time. Also being manipulated will not be tolerated for any length of time.

6. We love a woman who can laugh at herself and has courage and strength. We find her emotionally stable! An emotionally secure mature woman brings about a long-term relationship.

7. Men want fidelity!

I know I didn’t cover it all and women are too diverse for me to do so. But I’ve written what I’ve experienced, I’ve listened, I’ve learned and I’m open to learn more, surely I will! One thing I know is, women are love and need love. I’m open to give and receive; if we all remove our ego and communicate life would be much easier.

Permission to reprint is contingent on credit to Milo Edwards

Published in: on August 25, 2009 at 6:35 am  Comments (15)  

Greatness is Yours!

Milo EdwardsGreatness exist in all of us, it’s not esoteric, a mystery or a secret, we all have it within us to be great and we’re born complete, with all the tools needed!

This is who I am, what I believe and I’m going to do what’s needed to achieve my goals. That’s it, yes it’s that simple but we tend to complicate things for ourselves by looking for complexities and sabotaging our own lives with the crap we seek and we find. Yes, we seek and we find crap that stagnates our growth and in a lot of cases put us in reverse! We must make a behavioral change and not seek complexities, this will enable us to achieve a positive result and move forward.

Where you are, isn’t where you have to be! There’s a higher level of consciousness and existence but you have to show up and be willing to do the work. We all have some sort of talent but how hard do you work at turning that talent into a skill that’s better than the rest? You have to build a strong work ethic and in it’s growth, you’ll grow too. Grow to believe in yourself, grow in self worth, faith, honor, respect and project the positive energy needed to achieve anything. This skill has to be nurtured, while others are sleeping, partying or walking around in a delusional state, you’re working, studying to become better and advancing each day. Everyday, you must do at least one thing geared towards where you want to be. I don’t care how small it is, always do your best. The divine spirit and the universe will open up to your desires, if you move towards your goals faithfully!

Represent a positive idea, know that you can really do anything you desire and make this world a better place! You can have an idea and make that idea reality! But first you must believe in yourself! You have to believe that things can be different and you can make a difference! Our thoughts, ideas and dreams are realistic material in the spiritual realm of being. If we visualize and expand our dreams, we can make them reality! You must commit yourself to your goals and move towards them and demand it happen. Commit, believe and do the work. DO THE WORK!  Don’t get off the path! When you encounter something or someone trying to change your direction. Say, “excuse me but I’m not going that way, I’m going over here” and move towards your goals. You’re going to leave a number of people behind and piss them off but that’s O.K., you have somewhere to go, so go! You can flow effortlessly if you’re willing to do the work and have faith and trust yourself. Don’t allow fear to conquer you, let it motivate you, your breakthrough is on the other side of your fear! He who says he can and he who says he can’t are usually both right. Be the one who says I can, because yes you can! Dream, stand-up and go execute!

Published in: on August 24, 2009 at 7:26 am  Comments (20)  

Reach for Passion and Joy!

Reach For It!A number of people look upon another person being passionate and joyful as though it’s weird! They’ll call you crazy! It’s because people have had so many disappointments and failures in their lives, they’ve given up! At this point anxiety and fear kills their energy, motivation, faith and trust. “Mellow Into The Moment” and let go of your disappointments and failures. People will always disappoint you because we place trust in them and they don’t come through. Sometimes you fail because of poor preparation, lack of focus and having people take on responsibilities, you should’ve taken on yourselves. Align yourself with what’s truly important to you and move forward doing what needs to be done! Reach for your PASSION & JOY, knowing you can do it despite the past. Step outside of the feasible range of what most call reality and create your own reality. It’s up to you to live beyond the opinion others have of you. They have know idea of the greatness within you. Let go and grow! Reach, Reach, Reach!

Published in: on August 20, 2009 at 7:07 am  Comments (13)  

Free Your Mind!

Free Your Mind!Today is a beautiful day and a good day to let go of conflict, mess and obstruction. These things are unproductive and serves know positive purpose in your growth. Free your mind of things that aren’t beneficial and essential to your well being. “Mellow Into The Moment” and free yourself, you’ll find you have more time and energy to devote to making positive changes in your life. Creating and embracing change geared towards the divine greatness meant for you. Freeing your mind will give you the opportunity to celebrate you, your blessings, creative being, enjoy your self worth and become mentally focused on your future. Open up to the strength in you that’ll take you to the next level. Do things needed to move forward and grow! Stop wanting to achieve one thing and doing the opposite of what’s needed to achieve it! Make behavioral changes to expand and get where you want to be! Speak positively and become emotionally fit! Don’t get lost in the fog of ignorance projected by the people around you! Don’t waste time there with them, just keep it moving!

Published in: on August 19, 2009 at 6:32 am  Comments (24)  

“What Do Women Really Want,” Part III of the VII Part Series!

ValerieWhat do women really want? I’ve talked to many women throughout my life. It has even been a problem in some of my relationships because I love to talk to people period, no strings attached, nothing wanted, I’m approachable and just end up in conversations. I’ve always been interested in what people think and what moves them. Those that have been around me, trust me when I say, I see most of what you do in my presence, I’m conscious. I’ve listened to women and some don’t know, some think they know and some know what they want! It really depends on the woman you ask. The answers will be as diverse as the cultures on earth and their individual experiences in life. I’ve taken my time, listened and thought in depth concerning this matter removing my ego. I’m know authority of nothing but have sought the absolute truth and here’s my truth!
Women like a variety of things. All women don’t want a wealthy man, big house, fancy car, clothes and jewels or a man with a huge penis. A number of women look for things such as trust, honesty, commitment, compassion, love, honor, respect, faithfulness and loyalty. Some seek educated, powerful, confident men; others just want to be loved and feel special. A woman’s wants could be simple or very complex. I’m telling you, just because you bought her a business in her name, the dresses, shoes and other material things doesn’t mean she’ll stay. The women who seem to want material things, most when they get it, they realize there’s more to life and it goes back to the inner being. Women leave men who give them tons of material things all the time. Why? Money doesn’t buy Joy!

Women, just as a flower comes in a variety! I’ve found what they really want comes from within and when they realize who they really are, that’s when they realize, “what they really want!”

The one thing that has been consistent and I’ve always heard women say, is they want a man with CONFIDENCE! Not vain, arrogant, dominating, macho, I’m the man. But a man that exudes, I got this, without taking over and turning into a butthead. He makes her feel safe and doesn’t have to walk around saying I’m bad, with his chest poked out.

CONFIDENCE is an attitude but it doesn’t mean he’s denying any feelings, vulnerability or fear. It’s simply, I’ll deal with it, somehow, someway and I’ll do my best and you know he will! He’ll meet life’s challenges and deal with them in an honorable, respectful manner.

Women even look for clues as to how men handle things and test it to the limit. They see the educator, courageous protector of the community, accomplished leader, kind yet strong and don’t fade when he has a setback type of man. He sees a set back as a time to man up and come up! A man that chose to do something and did it! A number of women wont even consider a man that doesn’t have CONFIDENCE. She wants the, I got this man! You can’t disguise this CONFIDENCE with money, looks and material things.

You must be willing to face life’s struggles to win a woman’s ultimate respect. Although we can deal with a lot of things, she also really wants to know we can deal with her. That doesn’t mean do what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. A mature woman wont commit to a man that’s afraid of her sexuality, intelligence or emotions. She wants a man who challenges her, she’s too independent for “overly nice guys”, who’s favorite line is OK, anything you want baby! Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do! One day she’ll say go out and close the door behind you!

Confidence being high on the list for a woman’s desire, I’ve found other things that make a difference too. Here they are!

1. She wants your word to be your bond, stop lying mature adults don’t need to lie. She has to TRUST you!

2. Remember birthdays, anniversarys and bring her flowers just because you know she likes them. Remember her favorite flower, color, food, spot on her arm where she wants to be touched etc.

3. Let her see the love in your eye when you look at her, show kindness and be gentle. She knows you’re strong, be vulnerable sometimes. Make her feel special, she wants to feel loved and needed. Hug for no reason, kiss her, rub her shoulders, her back, leg and yes her feet too.

4. Make love to her!

5. Go to the mall, hold her hand, sit and watch her try on all those dresses and shoes. Even though you know she’s only going to buy one, if that. Don’t say a word smile and enjoy your woman being a woman.

6. Be considerate and give her fair notice about what’s going on and not just spring stuff on her expecting her to go along with it.

7. Let her know how you feel, communicate with her, so she’ll know what you want and desire from the relationship.

I know I didn’t cover it all and women are too diverse for me to do so. But I’ve written what I’ve experienced, I’ve listened, I’ve learned and I’m open to learn more, surely I will! One thing I know is, women are love and need love. I’m open to give and receive, if we all remove our ego and communicate life would be much easier.

Permission to reprint is contingent on credit to Milo Edwards

Published in: on August 18, 2009 at 7:09 am  Comments (16)  

Love, Honor and Respect!

My Daughter and I!“Mellow Into The moment” and tell me your idea of LOVE, HONOR and RESPECT?

Published in: on August 17, 2009 at 7:01 am  Comments (11)  

In Defense of Men of all shades, 10 worse things a woman can do! Part II of the VII Part Platinum Series!

Lord Help Me!
I consider myself a sincere man and excellent listener! At times I’m very puzzled by what men and women say about one another. When I hang with the fellas, we watch sports, talk trash and mix in what’s going on in our lives; yes serious stuff and don’t miss a beat. Amongst ourselves we are blunt and candid sharing our joy and pain. Then we get up, head unbent, shoulders unbowed and bear the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.

I know all types of men; some I must say aren’t worth 3 dead green flies, as my Uncle Ben Edwards would say. They’re habitual liars, cheats, thieves, users, selfish, womanizers, just plain stupid and a dirty laundry list of other negatives. Run ladies Run, you can’t change them; they have to want to change!

I’m also grateful and honored to know men who are upstanding, who love, honor and respect themselves, their families, they work hard and play hard. These are the guy’s I’m closest too and chose to communicate with on a regular basis. These are the guys that tell it like it is and we support one another. I listen and learn from them and we all grow together! From these conversations and in their defense, I’ve composed a list of the 10 worse things I feel a woman can do in a relationship with the type of men I honor! I’m no authority on anything but have an open mind and think in depth, removing my ego, so I can get to the absolute truth. Here’s my truth! Ladies there are a lot of good men out there and “This is how you drive them away”!

I would never group women as a whole and I truly recognize and respect the differences in your being. I know there are a lot of good women out there and I’m honored to know many of them and grateful to be in their presence. LADIES THIS ISN’T A LIST OF COMPLAINTS! It’s a list to give insight to what a man is thinking from my standpoint! This is just a snap shot!

A number of ladies over think things, dwell and carry tons of old baggage. Egos are irrational, selfish, think you know everything, don’t know when to shut up and will kick a man when he’s down. Even if he just dug you out of a hole! Did I say don’t know when to shut up! You water down your past and display your self as virtuous, which is far from true! If you’re offended, by what I just said, look in the mirror, it’s probably you! Your girlfriends know who you are too. They see you with a good man and wonder how long it’s going to take you to screw it up and run that man away. They comfort you after he leaves, because that’s what girlfriends do! In reality, they know you and what you did! For those of you that the above writing points too, make some changes.

For you ladies who are mindful, loving and honorable and who want to keep a good man, here you go! Before proceeding please remove your EGO and OPEN YOUR HEARTS AND MIND! I’m writing this in hope that couples communicate and create a solution to what stops the growth in their relationships. The stagnation that occurs depletes a relationship and generates separation in the near future. Lets love and stay together, we are meant to be and receive love.

Hopefully you’ll read this with the love in which it was intended and written! Please don’t attack, let’s talk! Communication is the key! Eyes are blind, so look with your heart and make a change! Take this message with the love and peace, which it’s delivered!

1. DRAMA QUEEN – Continuously whining, complaining and nagging about every little thing that happens! Even stuff that could wait, you wont let it wait. You’ll have a fit like a child! You have a need for attention and will try to control your man with it. Saying you’re in distress when surely you can handle the subject matter yourself. It may make a man feel good for a while to be needed but I promise you, you’ll be the girl-crying wolf and he’ll be leaving soon. We’ll support and nurture but we are not your emotional crutch!

2. JEALOUSY OF HIS FRIENDSHIPS – If your man had real RESPECTFUL male and female friends before he meet you, he will not take kindly to you calling them out their names, judging and picking them apart. Men feel their true friends have always been there and will still be there whether you stay or go. So respect his friends as he respects yours, you have friends and he doesn’t trip. Don’t punish him for your insecurities! There’s no need to be jealous of his RESPECTFUL tight knit group. He’s going to hang and talk with his friends and if you try to separate them, he’ll just hang with them without you. Eventually this will cause a divide in your relationship, he wants you all to get along. Be open-minded and give them all an honest chance, he’ll like that.

3. NICE TODAY, CRAZY TOMORROW – During the dating phase you’re sweet, attentive, nurturing, looking good all the time and just WOW am I a lucky man or what? Then once you feel you have him, bam! No more nicey nice and sexy sexy, rollers in your head, face mud, nails aren’t done, frowns, barking of orders, tone change and aggressive word usage. Remember the same thing it took for you to get him, it’s going to take to keep him. You change like that, he will too and you’ll see the back of his head going out the door. He feels he’s been tricked and no longer knows if he can trust you! Be yourself from the start and show some consistency.

4. NON-STOP TALKING – Shut up sometimes! Simple as that, just shut up, we don’t want to here you picking people apart and all that other stuff; tell your girlfriend. It’s ok with us for a minute and that’s it, a minute! It’s not that we don’t care but we don’t need to hear every detail. Also, carrying on about an issue you have with him all day, then bringing it up tomorrow and throwing it up a week later. Expecting to have his undivided attention every time you do it. This will cause him to seek the exit sign or cut your conversation time short. Being badgered about a disagreement over and over is a real turn off!

5. WANTING TOO MANY THINGS – Some men feel women are too unrealistic in their expectations. The regular working man living on the average salary can’t afford big house, take you out to dinner all the time, pay your car note, credit cards and a new car. If he dares to say something about it, you call him lazy, lacking ambition, question his love for you and question his abilities to take care of his woman. Good-bye! One good working man out the door! He’s working and saving for the future, not trying to help you keep up with your EGO! If he’s happy being a plumber, stop trying to make him President! Why not look at your blessings and be grateful.

6. CHEATING – Y’all call us dogs but you cheat too, and then blame your man for driving you to doing it. Women fool around just as much as men, if you think not you’re in the dark, lying to yourself or just lying. Whether sexual or emotional, if a man thinks you’re doing so. He’ll immediately put you in another category, none of which is a position of growing together, maybe something to do or he’ll just leave. He should just leave! Such games rob a man of vital energy and respect for you is gone.

7. LUGGING OLD BAGGAGE – Treating your man like he’s going to cheat on you, mess up or abandon you like your ex’s have or your father, is horrible. Dragging your crap from the past will kill a relationship in record time. He’ll get tired of you dumping on him and treating him as though he’s not trust worthy! He is not your past; he’s your present but will soon be your past if you keep it up! Let go of your old crap and it’s staleness. Open your heart and mind to enjoy the freshness of the new. He didn’t do those things to you in your past, why punish him!

8. BEING DISRESPECTFUL – No man wants to be treated like crap by his woman, at home or in public. You continue to be rude and abrasive with him, even after he’s asked you to stop. BYE! A man gets enough of this at work and other aspects of society, he doesn’t need it from you too. On top of all that you never apologize for the disrespectful act itself, like you’re entitled to treat him bad and it’s O.K. he’s a tough man. GUESS WHAT, MEN HAVE FEELINGS TOO! He’ll take it sometimes and don’t say anything but one day, he’ll just walk away from you and never look back. Treat your man how you want to be treated!

9. NOT GIVEN ENOUGH SPACE – Don’t be so clingy, a man needs his space and needs you to respect the boundaries. If he’s going to the mall with you while you’re trying on shoes, don’t give him crap about watch a sporting event. A jealous, possessive woman deliberately robs a man of his privacy and that will run a man away! Don’t lose yourself; find something for you to do while he does his thing!

10. POWER STRUGGLE – This one really rubs a man wrong that isn’t evening competing with you. 1.You have to be right all the time. 2.You’re condescending or shooting down his thoughts, always amending his statements as if your way is always better or the right way. 3. Disagreeing just because; yes you always have to punch holes in whatever he says. Then you do all the above in public to top it off. This is a major turnoff for men, MAJOR. Then you turn around and ask for his help with something. The man will help you out but he thinks, do it yourself smartass, you know everything. You’ll soon see the back of that good mans head going out the door, never to return. Then you’ll have all the power and be alone with it to do what you like. Be considerate of his thoughts and emotions, we have them too and you want the same from us.

What I’ve written is from my experience and the conversations I’ve had with men. I hope it’s helpful and we all can communicate better and love stronger.

Permission to reprint is contingent on credit to Milo Edwards

Published in: on August 14, 2009 at 7:07 am  Comments (38)