Milo Edwards, In Defense of women of all shades, 10 worse things a man can do! Part I of a VII Part Platinum Series!

Dry Your EyesMilo Edwards, In defense of women of all shades, 10 worse things I feel a man can do! Part I of a VII Part Platinum Series!

I consider myself a sincere man and excellent listener! At times I’m very puzzled by what men and woman say about one another. One of which is when a woman says, “You just don’t understand” or “You don’t get it”! For years, I’ve sought to understand and get it! I’ve listened to woman speak and I must say I found a number of women irrational, selfish, controlling and determined to get what they want at all cost not caring who they step on along the way.

I’ve also had the blessing of talking to women who are genuinely loving, honorable and respectful. These are the women I choose to be around, communicate, appreciate and grow with. I write this note in their defense and to inform men of the 10 worse things I think you can do in a relationship with the type of woman I honor. I’m no authority of nothing but have an open mind and think in depth, removing my ego, so I can get to the absolute truth. Here’s my truth!

For the most part men are surface thinkers rarely going in depth until they’re in a bind and forced to think about the relationship. Their egos keep them in a delusional state, which creates a false sense of what’s real and thought’s based on a false sense and foundation only leads to a crumbling relationship! In defense of men your woman may be one I spoke of in the first paragraph, in that case run but if she’s from the second paragraph, remove your ego, read and grow if you want to keep her.

1. CONTROLLING – You can’t be so controlling and try to dominate your woman calling it love. Your lack of control in the outside world doesn’t mean come home demand this is my castle. Yes it is but a queen lives there too and you must respect that! Stop trying to control the sex too, nurture and she’ll more than fulfill your need!

2. SHE IS NOT YOUR MOMMA – She’s not here to raise you, clean up your mess, how excited can a woman be about a man she has to look after like a child. She will be a good listener, accommodating and uplifting, if you’re working to do the same for her. Stop saying me, me, me and ask her about her day and show a genuine concern about making it better!

3. CONFUSING HAVING SEX WITH MAKING LOVE – Know that having sex is a physical action and making love is an emotional action and expression of a real connection to your lover and trust me they feel it, when it’s real. The holding, cuddling, look into the eyes, kiss and tone of your voice when you speak to her will tell her all she needs to know.

4. LABELING A NEED FOR COMFORT, A CRY FOR HELP! – When she discusses a problem with you, it doesn’t mean jump in, take over and solve it! A woman most of the time needs you to just be supportive, compassionate and nurturing. She can handle her stuff just like you handle yours. Men think fight, women think reason! So be reasonable with her, listen, show concern and a little sympathy, odds are that’s all she wants from you at that time.

5. JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT SEX, DOESN’T MEAN SHE DOES – She’s not a blow up doll and her sexual appetite may be different from yours! Don’t just assume she’s supposed to give you some on demand. Take some time give her that look, gently touch her, kiss on the cheek, she knows you want it. Allow her the freedom to choose and if she say’s no don’t sulk and act childish. She may be saving a little something for you later. Mope and whine, she might just give you a taste so you’ll shut up but if you chill you may get the full court press.

6. SHARE IN PLANNING OF EVENTS – Take the initiative to plan something some times and stop saying, “what ever you want baby”! What she wants is for you to say, this is where we’re going this weekend, baby all you have to do is get dressed. She’ll be excited and relieved she has some time off to think and you took time to plan.

7. ADVICE ISN’T CRITICISM – When your woman suggest you do something a certain way or handle a situation. She’s not attacking you, blaming or condemning you. Stop being so defensive, it makes your woman walk around as if she has to tip toe on egg shells. She has an opinion just like you and it’s usually an honest attempt to be helpful just like yours.

8. LACK OF AFFECTION AND ROMANCE – Affection and romance are very important to woman. You can clip a flower from your front yard and give it to her, she’ll light up. Make her be glad to be a woman and do the things that require a little thought. Something she’s wanted to do, do it on her birthday. Hold her hand, stroke her cheek, listen and remember something she said and put it into action. Be soft and gentle with her emotions! Women want to know they’re loved, simple as that, stop being hard and give it up.

9. HIDING YOUR FEELINGS – Men need to give it up and stop waiting until it’s a major catastrophe before they say what they feel. By then things have deteriorated to a point it may be irreconcilable. It’s a gift from you to others to be vulnerable, what they do with that gift shows who they are.

10. YOU’RE INTEMIDATED BY HER SUCCESS – Maybe this should be number 1 with a bullet. Just because she’s successful and/or more successful than you, is know reason to feel weak and have to try and dominate her to show your strength. A true show of your strength will be to support and encourage her anyway possible. Your fear of people looking at you like you’re a loser is nonsense. You’re a winner and should share that winning attitude with your strong successful woman. Others wish they were in your spot and hope you get weak and fall so they can jump in. Admit and celebrate her success like she’d do yours.

What I’ve written is from my experience, I’ve listened, I’ve learned, I think and hope I understand and I get it!

Authorize to reprint contingent upon credit to Milo Edwards.

Milo6397@aol.comMilo Edwards

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Published in: on July 29, 2009 at 6:25 am  Comments (37)  

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37 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m so excited for you Milo! Great read.

    Blessings to your new blog.

  2. Congratulations on the new digs, Milo! Let’s get it started in here! 🙂

  3. Looking forward to the move.

  4. The site is beautiful Milo. Definitely the start of good things to come. Looking forward to reading more.

  5. If you have not already done so, you should consider publishing this in book format. I’ll use my resources to assist with one or more of your books signings here in Chicago!

  6. Milo,
    Your writting is so awesome, I will be forwarding this to a few friends that are not on Facebook. I tell them about you all the time. They keep saying who is this Milo that I talk about all the time I tell them get on Facebook and see. I think now they will get on and add you. Steve Harvey watch out Milo is on the sceen. Keep up the good work.

    A friend for life
    Renay

  7. Milo, I’m enticed by what you have to about this subject, best of all it 100% true.

    With warm regards, Joyce Reed..

  8. Congratulations on your new blog. Great read as usual, keep up the good work.

  9. Milo I am so excited about where you are about to go with your career. You’re view on relationships is fresh and down-right the truth. I truly appreciate you. I’m definitely staying tuned in and waiting for your book to hit the shelves. Better yet! I will be at your book signing 🙂

  10. You listened and learned! How wonderful! Thank you Milo for sharing your experiences and knowledge with others. We need more people in the world who agree that relationships should be handled as you do for a good outcome. Continue to spread the good word and looking forward to great success for you with your new site! So happy for you! God Bless.

  11. Love the new blog – love the wisdom!

  12. Thank you for putting these thoughts together and sharing them with us. Women have been saying these things for years but I bet men will take it better coming from another man.

    Congrads on the new site and I’m calling shotgun for the Milovan!

  13. Thank you Milo. Very well said. How many will listen?

  14. How in the world you figured us women out, I don’t know. You have an uncanny knack of knowing EXACTLY what we feel and think! This writing needs to be read by as many people who can and that are open to “Mellow into the Moment”!FANTASTIC words…how about sharing this on Oprah!

  15. I would love to collaborate on a project with you. With Permission and giving you full credit I would love to use some of your commentaries in the Divas and Dudes Journal and live forums.

    I’m Intrigued with your work.

    Brill Cornelius The Brilliantnaire.

  16. Congratulations Mr. Milo….!

    Love your new blog…;-)

    In Light,

    Nina

  17. I know you said this list was not exhaustive, but it’s a wonderful list that could help salvage many relationships! Thanks for listening and sharing!

  18. Milo,
    My dear brother, you speak with an eloquence and wisdom beyond your years. Do you confer with subjects of the opposite sex or do you obtain your information soley on experience? Rather your knowledge be of experience or otherwise, I gather you took notes well and gave a conscious effort to comprehend the perplexities of a women dating a boy instead of man. You see, all a women want is a man. One that knows his creator and what he was created to do, one that embodies the personification of a god man(a strong man). Note that the g is lowercase because man can’t be a womens god he can only embody the characteristics of a big and mighty God. So you see my brothers and sisters all is well when the god man steps on the scene or else women across the land will continue to experience frustration in relationships with boys dressed like men.

    • Thank you for our response, I gathered my information from my male and female friends also experience. I’m a talker and will talk to a dog if it responds, lol. I’ve learned a lot by staying open to communicate.

  19. Milo….Just reading your work makes me wonder if more men took the time to talk & listen to their women the divorce rate would be much lower in this world! You are a great teacher! All of us (men and women) can learn so much from you! You truly inspire me EVERYDAY!

    Thank you!!!

    • Thanks Janet for your kind words! Listening to one another intently would help up grow together! People have to be more compassionate and selfless!

  20. It feels surreal when I read your work. I find myself asking, (no doubt the following questions will have me labeled as “bitter”, when in fact I am really and truly curious having never met any BLACK man like this), 1. Are you for real? And 2. Are you married? (This question is not to initiate any romance but to satisfy my curiosity) If you are married, what a truly blessed woman!:) If you are not that raises a whole different set of questions 3.The third and most important thing: I would like to congratulate your father on a job well done. And finally, if you are for real, I thank God for the reassurance. Now…do you do seminars? 🙂

    • I’m real and there’s a number of men like me in the world!

  21. Enjoyed reading this, very insightful and will definitely share with some of my lovely friends. Look forward to reading more. Stay Blessed!

  22. Thank You Milo!! When does your (Men 101) class Starts?? I’d like to sign a few men up!! Thank you for taking the time to understand women and share your thoughts and feelings!! God Bless You!!!

  23. Where should I look for a man like you?? I’m in NY??

  24. I think you Hill Harper, Steve Harvey, Michael Eric Dyson, Kevin Powell and a few others should get together and do a realationship seminar!!! It would be a blessing to so many WOMEN!!!

  25. When will you be in NY??? Please let me know, I will come and hear you speak!!

  26. Another great piece! Milo, I really appreciate how you present BOTH sides in such a positive manner. So, can I be a guest on one of your upcoming tv/radio spots????(’cause there WILL be one!!!! *smile*) Keep spreading the love!

    • Thanks Mona for the positive future forecast. I’m grateful for the acknowledgment and sure you can be part of it.

  27. Milo, it is always a treat to read such insightful words coming from a man. If more men would read your words and take heed, there would many more happier and fulfilling relationships. I’m glad that you have obviously taken the time to listen, both to the male and female perspectives, and it’s obvious in this writing. Keep up the excellent work!

  28. Nice! Love this for sure..

  29. This a the other all sounds nice but what happens when the shoe is on the other foot ? Maybe the answer is coming in the series.

  30. Dear Milo

    Thank you, for understanding us with the realization that understanding us, does not make you less of a man but increases our awareness of your manliness.

    There is nothing more attractive than a confident Brother.

    Stay Blessed and I await the book.

    • Thank you for your time and consideration, I’m grateful you took time out of your day to read my writing.


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